3 Graceful Ways to Exit a Conversation
The Introvert’s Holiday Survival Guide: How to Bow Out of a Chat with a Smile
It’s that time of year: Holiday parties, work events, and family gatherings where you see people you love and people you love… to avoid.
As an introvert, all of these social gatherings can take a toll on my energy and general love for the season. And my biggest challenge isn’t getting into conversations, it’s getting out of them.
Because, let’s be honest, I don’t have the social battery to survive eight straight “glory days” stories from Gary in Sales or Uncle Barry once again reminiscing about how good the Bengals were a few years ago.
I’m good for 5ish minutes of random small-talk banter and then need 25 minutes to recharge… (okay it’s not that extreme, but it can feel like it sometimes).
If you run into a similar challenge, here are three graceful ways to exit a conversation politely, professionally, and without feeling like you need to fake a fire alarm.
3 Graceful Ways to Exit a Conversation
1. The Half-Full Drink Strategy
This is one of my favorites because it requires almost no acting skills (and keeps you hyrdated): always keep a drink in your hand that is half full.
I don’t mean metaphorically, I mean literally. Have a cup in your hand that’s about 50% full / empty.
That way, whenever you’re ready to exit the conversation, you simply say something like, “Hey, I’m going to grab a quick refill.”
It’s low drama, easy to say, and socially bulletproof… unless, of course, the person says, “Me too, I’ll go with you!”
In which case, you might try…
2. The Purposeful Pivot
This one works especially well at work events or when you have kids at the family gathering.
When you can’t possibly stand another one of Gary’s stories that’s always borderline misogynistic, you spot someone across the room and say,
“Oh, I just saw John. I need to grab him for a quick project question.”
Or at a family gathering,
“I just saw my daughter and I want to make sure she actually eats something that isn’t smothered in cheese.”
The key here is to move quickly, as if you’re trying to “catch up to” the person.
3. The Conversational Pass-Off
This last is can be a bit of a jerk move, but it works really well for the particularly long-winded talkers.
Sometimes you’re talking to someone who simply will not stop, which means you need to find a new audience.
If you can’t possibly stand another second of Uncle Barry saying the Bengals were robbed in Super Bowl LVI (I mean they were, but I’m not trying to relive it), you say something like,
“You know who agress with you, Aunt Sarah. She would love this.”
Then you bring Aunt Sarah over, get her caught up on the conversation, smile… and then exit.
It’s like conversational tag. Barry doesn’t care who he’s talking to, he just wants to talk, and you are no longer “it.”
Slightly mischievous? Yes. Effective? Extremely.
One thing to keep in mind: Whatever excuse you use, actually follow through on it.
If you say you are refilling your drink, refill it.
If you say you need to talk to someone, at least wave in their direction.
If you say you are going to the restroom, well, nature will back you up on that one.
Grace comes from consistency.
Don’t Be the One People Are Trying to Escape
All of this goes both ways. If you’re the one telling the story, watch for cues that the other person may be ready to exit.
If they’re glancing around the room, shifting their feet away from you, or giving you that polite smile that says, “I’ve enjoyed this, and also I am trapped…”
Those are your signals to wrap it up, pause, or give them an opening to leave.
The best conversationalists, the ones that bring out the best in introverts like me, aren’t just good at leaving, they’re good at letting others leave too.
Which, during the holidays, might be the greatest gift of all.
Got any other tips for exiting a conversation gracefully? Let me know in the comments.
-Andrew
Great tips. Thank you Drew and Merry Christmas!!!