How to Deal with the Naysayers

Responding to a reader about the curmudgeons in your life.

A little while back, I received an email from a reader that I only now got a chance to respond to (anyone else on like a 2-14 week delay in getting to emails?).

I thought her questions were interesting and I hope my answers gave a bit of insight, so I thought I’d share them here.

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Hello Anita! I'm sorry for the epic delay in responding, it's been a hectic few months. I'm glad you've been able to find the humor in education. It's such a valuable tool for teaching and for staying sane while doing it.

To answer your questions:

What I want to understand is what inspires you to do that for others? 

What inspires me is the change I see in people when they are able to successfully use humor to achieve a specific goal. They become more confident, and more capable, in what they do. 

I’ve seen this firsthand in clients we’ve worked with, but also in my own life. Humor took me from a shy, introverted computer geek to a confident, sometimes charismatic keynote speaker (who is still very much an introvert).

Empowering people with the skill of humor is my small way of trying to make the world a better (and funnier) place.

How do you overcome the rude rejections by people who don't get along with this attitude of yours? I am sure there must be people who thinks this is all crap and a waste of time. How do you deal with them? 

You are right, there are people who don't yet understand the value of humor in the workplace or think it’s a whole bunch of crapola. The first place I start is trying to educate them. 

There are 30 benefits to using humor as an individual, and yet people mistakenly believe that having fun is somehow antithetical to being productive. Teaching people about the research-backed benefits of humor can hopefully help them see the light-er side of life.

It's also possible they don't know how to use it appropriately. Maybe they assume using humor means they have to be aggressive or sarcastic, and that’s not the case. So I encourage them start thinking more broadly, more positively. 

My goal isn't to make people funnier just so they can get laughs, but rather to teach them how to strategically use humor to improve what they do. Once people understand that, they tend to be more on board.

I understand it's not possible to change them but how do you keep yourself unaffected by such comments and still do things your way? 

Despite my best efforts, there are still people who don't see the value. Like you said, it's not possible to change them but it is possible to change my attitude about them. 

In a sense, I  feel bad for them because they're missing out on the opportunity for so much more fun (we spend 1/3rd of our adult life at work). I also choose to focus on the people who are a fan of what I do so I can serve them more.

What I don’t want you to do, however, is to let the naysayers stop you from using more humor. Just because they want to be serious or solemn all the time, doesn’t mean you have to be.

You choose everyday how you do your work, so why not choose to be more productive, less stressed, and have more fun? That’s what humor can do.

I hope this all helps. Thank you for reaching out and please let me know how I can help. And as a teacher, you might enjoy my brother's talk on adding humor to the classroom.

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Have any humor-related questions you want answered? Leave them in the comments.

(an)drew