The High Cost of NOT Using Humor

What are losing by leaving your sense of humor on the sidelines?

Have you ever considered adding a dash of humor to your next presentation, email, or team meeting—only to second-guess yourself at the last minute? You’re not alone.

I was recently working with a manager one on one when they shared that they were hesitant to use humor with their team. Matter of fact, they were actively avoiding it. When I asked why, they said,

“Humor is touchy. I’m afraid to be funny because maybe it’s not funny now. I feel like I’m on pins and needles when I say anything because I don’t know if it’s okay or not.”

I get it. Many people avoid using humor out of fear: “What if I offend someone?” “What if nobody laughs?” “What if I’m soooooo funny that I have to start touring as a stand-up comedian, leaving my family for 50 weeks a year performing in clubs all over the country but also questioning if I’m truly happy?”

(Anyone else had that last fear?)

But as real as these concerns can be, they often hide a far greater risk. It’s not, “what might happen if I try humor and fail.” It’s what do you lose by not using humor at all.

Yes, there are risks in using humor, but there are also significant costs to avoiding it completely.

Silent Sabotage: What You Lose by Avoiding Humor

It can be hard to quantify what impact the absence of something has. For example, I’ve never owned a jet ski. Is my life better or worse for that? I’m not sure.

Quino Al on Unsplash

So what do you lose by not using humor? Well, we can look first at the opportunity costs.

I often speak about the 30+ benefits of using humor in the workplace. That means, in some ways, not using humor means that you’re missing out on those benefits.

While you can gain some of these advantages in other ways (exercise can be great for relieving stress, milkshakes certainly increase my happiness), I’d argue that some are uniquely connected to humor. As a result, not using any humor in your work means you…

Struggle to connect with others

Without humor, your interactions can feel flat or transactional. Humor is a social lubricant that quickly establishes rapport.

Being “all work and no play” means you bypass those lighthearted moments that help people remember you, want to collaborate with you, or recommend you to others. That’s a lot of missed chances for deeper, more meaningful relationships—both professionally and personally.

Get overlooked for new opportunities

Many people wish (or wrongly assume) that they work in a meritocracy, that their success and failure is solely limited to their effort and skill. But that’s not the case.

Jobs, promotions, and new projects don’t always go to the most technically capable, they go to the person who is good at what they do, are known for being good at what they do, and are pleasant to be around. (Or it might go to someone because their the nephew of the boss).

By never lightening the mood or stepping into the spotlight (even just briefly), you risk blending into the background and missing out on new opportunities.

Feel stressed and overwhelmed

Humor offers perspective, helping you see obstacles as something that can be overcome. Without it, every setback feels more dramatic, like a Darren Aronofsky film. That increases frustration and risk of burnout, which impacts morale and mental well-being, as well as your ability to actually get things done.

The biggest loss: A more authentic, confident you

One thing I’ve learned from doing programs in 35 countries and 6 continents is that every human has a sense of humor and likes to laugh. How each person uses humor or what makes them laugh might be very different from person-to-person, but humor is a vital aspect of being human.

Never tapping into your sense of humor robs you of authenticity. When you hide behind formality, you deprive people (and yourself) of seeing your true colors—your wit, your spontaneity, and even your vulnerabilities.

Other people also start to see you as a bit of curmudgeon, like Mr. Bucklesby…

Does that mean you should share every joke or comment you think of? I strongly doubt it (unless you’re literally Mr. Rogers). But it does mean you need to learn where and how to appropriately let your humor shine.

Because constant self-monitoring and over-analyzing every word you say can dampen your real voice and make you seem guarded or uncertain—even to yourself. Over time, the absence of lighthearted moments can chip away at your confidence, leaving you feeling more like a rigid version of who you truly are.

Humor can be that connector that reveals you at your best. By avoiding it, you risk stifling the most confident, genuinely engaging version of yourself.

How to Reclaim Your Humor

So what can you do? First of all, don’t beat yourself up about it.

Workplaces do a very good job of making it seem like having any type of personality is a bad thing (it isn’t). And we’re never really taught how to build, refine, and leverage our sense of humor (except on this newsletter of course).

Second, create a plan for how you’re going to build your humor skill over the next few months. Here are a few ways to get started:

1) Think Small: Micro-Moments of Levity

Begin by sprinkling in light, inoffensive humor into your work—maybe a playful subject line in an email or a short anecdote before a meeting. Gauge the reaction and let that positive feedback build your confidence. Over time, you’ll discover what works best and what you enjoy the most.

2) Find Your Authentic Style

Not everyone is a stand-up comedian—and you don’t have to be. If you haven’t already, take the first step by discovering your Humor Persona. Find out what style of humor resonates with you and how to use it effectively. Authenticity resonates far more than forced punchlines.

3) Practice and Get Feedback

Try out new material or styles in safe spaces, like with close colleagues or friends. Ask, “Is this too edgy?” or “Does this joke land?” Constructive feedback helps you strike the right balance between playful and professional. The key is to keep experimenting and refining.

The Real Question Is: Can You Afford Not To Use Humor?

The cost of not using humor is clear—disengagement, stress, missed opportunities, relationships that stay surface-level, and a sterilized version of you. Don’t leave laughter to luck.

If you’re ready to unlock the power of humor for stronger connections, better teamwork, and greater innovation, sign up for our upcoming webinar, “Find Your Funny” on January 31. We’ll dive deeper into advanced techniques, share real-life examples (complete with a few laughs), and answer your questions in real time.

Until next time,
(an)drew

PS. I just decided at this moment to put together the above webinar (so yes, it’s very last-minute). If you can’t make it live, you can still register if you’re interested in checking out the recording.