The People Make the Place
How to make more friends at work
A couple weeks ago, my mom and brother came to visit. It was one of those family trips where we didn’t do a whole lot. Pretzel (my wife) was traveling, Pineapple (my daughter) was sick, and “sightseeing” quickly turned into “inside-of-our-house seeing.”
And yet, we had a blast.
Not because of any bucket-list activities we checked off (I’m pretty sure my mom hasn’t been clamoring to walk the park near my house 57 times…), but because we just enjoy each other’s company.
We told (and re-told) stories, played all sorts of children’s games (Pineapple was even awake for some of them), and spent 20 minutes quoting lines from The Goonies (“heeeeeyyyy youuuuu guyssssss!”).
The point is, who you’re with matters more than what you’re doing.
The same is true at work.
The Importance of Work Friendships
According to research from Gallup,
Employees who have a best friend at work are significantly more likely to get more done in less time, innovate and share their ideas, engage customers and internal partners, and have more fun.
I’m pretty sure they’re also much more likely swap memes back and forth, but I guess that wasn’t part of the study.
Why do friends at work matter so much?
Because things get so much harder without them.
We spend 1/3rd of our adult awake life at work. If we don’t like any of the people we work with, the job becomes just a job.
Tasks feel transactional. You celebrate wins by clicking “Mark as Complete” instead of high-fiving a teammate. And when something goes wrong, there’s no one to vent to, laugh with, or turn to for a synchronized egg roll.
(Side note: I did three read-throughs of this post and only just now noticed I had written “synchronized egg roll,” instead of “eye roll.” But it made me laugh, so I left it in for you.)
That kind of environment wears on you. You feel more isolated as it chips away at your energy, your creativity, and your willingness to show up fully.
It’s no wonder that this meme on our IG page racked up over 2 million views:
How to Find Friends at Work
One powerful and underused tool is humor.
Humor is a shortcut to connection. It signals shared values, eases tension, and reminds people that behind the emails and job titles, we’re all just humans (for now…).
Humor is also one of the quickest ways to “find your people.” The ones who laugh at the same absurdity. The ones who get your references. The ones who, when you make a terrible pun in a meeting, don’t just groan, they top it with one of their own.
If you want be one of those people who get more done in less time through the power of friendship, here are three ways you can use humor to build connections at work:
1. Start small.
Humor doesn’t have to mean telling a stand-up-worthy joke. It can be a funny status update, a clever Slack emoji combo, or a casual observation about how the coffee machine has unionized. These small moments act like social sonar. If someone laughs or riffs back, you’ve found a potential kindred spirit.
2. Discover your coworkers’ sense of humor.
Ask about their favorite shows, comedians, or movies. These preferences are like humor personality tests. If someone quotes "The Office" or talks about rewatching "Ted Lasso," you get insight into what they find funny. Once you know what makes someone laugh, you can connect more easily and more authentically.
3. Be the person who facilitates fun.
You don’t have to be the “funny one” to bring humor into the workplace. You can start a meme thread, suggest a “Bring Your Pet to Zoom” day, or kick off meetings with a Fun Fact (shout out to Gary from last night’s event for the suggestion).
Creating opportunities for light-hearted interaction builds relationships for you and others, which is a great place to start if your normal sense of humor is too dark or esoteric for the workplace.
Rene Descartes is sitting at a cafe when a waiter comes up and asks, "Can I get you some coffee?” Descartes replies, "I think not" and vanishes.
Finding a Community
What if you just can’t stand the people you work with? Or if you work remotely or mostly on your own and your daily water cooler chat is just you asking your dog if they think AI is coming for their job?
In that case, you can find or create your own professional network to help fill the void. You can attend meetup groups, start a local mastermind, or join an online community.
Speaking of, if you want to connect with fellow humor enthusiasts, we have our Skill of Humor Foundations Workshop next week, where we’ll also be announcing the details of our first live Masterclass. Join us on July 30th at 12 PM ET.
I’ll be telling a few tales, sharing the quickest route to using humor, and raffling off a scholarship to join our live cohort.
Hope to see you there.
-Andrew
There are many reasons for company leaders to encourage friendships: trust is higher, culture improves, people are more likely to stay at the company, and recruit other friends to join. There’s a watch out in cliques forming but that can be managed when you buy into the friendly company approach!